Mini Meatball…Snooki’s Pregnant!

This morning, I think we are all witnessing the first signs of the Apocalypse, Jersey Shore’s Snooki is PREGNANT. As I scrolled through my Facebook news feed, I felt like I was experiencing morning sickness when reading about the expecting guidette. The father is Jionni LaValle, so Snooki claims…

To most, expecting a child is one of life’s greatest joys, to Snooki it means money. Hollywood has not only changed the ideology behind marriage, but also motherhood.  Beyonce’s collapsing bump is reason number one that Hollywood is to blame for pregnancy being more about the effect on a personal brand than about the gift of life. I personally believe that Beyonce used a surrogate to carry her baby but that argument is for another post.

Back to America’s ‘now’ pregnant train-wreck, Snooki. She is the last person on earth that is fit to be a mother, I wouldn’t be surprised if child services has already contacted her to arrange the confiscation of her mini meatball.

Snooki has high hopes, she wants to be the next Kourtney Kardashian. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against Kourtney Kardashian but if that’s the person you’re striving to be, you’re pretty pathetic.

It’s sad to say but I think we are witnessing the birth of America’s poster child for fetal alcohol syndrome. Can you imagine anything worse than having Snooki as your mom?

Snooki’s positive pregnancy test landed her a Jersey Shore spin-off show with JWow, which will document her even more intense craving for pickles and sex…can’t wait…